My life is fucking tripping me out. I haven't been this happy and sad at the same time ever. On one hand, im so happy, No one has treated me this well in so long and its fucking nice to finally have someone. but on the other hand i fucking hate everything else about this hell hole. i hate school, i hate homework, i hate tests, i hate some of the strathies. i hate how there are never any parties. I hate how long its been since i was high .i hate not smoking. i hate my mom insesently nagging me. i hate having to deal with these people. I hate failing when im actually trying, as apposed to last year when i really just didnt give a shit. i hate crying. i hate miss you all so fucking much. I hate not living with Rae, because shes sunshine. I hate never seeing ligz anymore, or meeting him in the morning, at 7, to hang out before school like we used to. I hate not gonig to city center. I hate that clinton and bloemen dont make fun of me anymore. i hate that no one here thinks im awcward and weird. Well, they think im weird. lol. I hate how i can never do anything after school anymore. I hate not having mr tonack. I hate not having Mr Ashworth. i hate not seeing simone and becky and lauren. but most of all , i hate missing the force. i hate it with every particle in my body. I miss them every second of every day. and it hurt. it hurts so bad. I miss Vic. i miss failing, i miss not trying, i miss life being easy. I hate that i can never ever doing anything fun anymore. i hate this. i just hate it . so fucking much.